who feels a little frisky? cause i doooo.

Well uh todays been a rough day, idk.. very down lately so i just sat down on my bed and just wroteeeee. i mean i wrote up a storm. haha, i just jotted down everything that was on my mind.. so ive decided to share shit with you.. its kind of weird because if you dont know how to read it. then your shit outta luck because your going to think im the worst writer everrr. lol you need the right tone, the right pauses for it.. so if you know me, call me ill read it out for you! lol here it goes:::: (there might grammer, and spelling problems but its just i didnt want to fix anything up because i think its better when i just shoot it all out and leave it how it is.. you get a better feel of the mood i was in)::


(idk you give me a title for this...)

i dont want you to forgive me, i dont want to tell me its ohk
tell me its wrong, its ohk to say that to me.
I must learn that i can never try to sneak around and always have it my way
I cant always get away with everything
i cant talk my way out of things
which is what i do most of the time.

i want to feel love with you, i want to know what it feels like with you..
i want to experience the "butterflies" the no words, but were still speaking" chills down my spine, and breaths not being taken when your around me feeling.. is that what it is?
i hate people talking about it and just say it to there partner just to say it.
thats not me, i want to say it to the one whom i actually love, and i will find him someday
but i hope that him is you,

i wish to fall in love with you
i wish to be the one who you want to wake up in the middle of the night and just stare at me
and think to yourself.. i love that girl.. i want to be that girl.
I feel as though it would be perfect to fall in love with someone like you
maybe im in denial, or maybe i just want to fall in love with you but to afraid i might get hurt.
thats just an instink i have inside because in my heart and in my mind, i trust you, i trust your words, your actions and everything else.

You make me feel special like if there no other prettier girl waiting out there for you
if im just the only one who matters to you
the one whos going to be your wife one day and have as many children as you want with her.
i want to fall in love you

i just dont know how, i dont know when it will happen.. does it just happen?
will i know when i feel this unknown feeling.. that everyone calls love??
what is it? can you explain? can you explain what the feeling is?
do i sound desperate? do i sound as if i want to force myself to be in love with the one who makes me feel special, the one who makes me the happiest women alive? which is you.
why do i ask so many questions?
is it cause im insecure.. but of what? you?
do i feel inside that i might lose you?
that maybe.. just maybe im not good enough
cause thats what i used to think..
i wasnt good enough to be your girlfriend once more.

i was stupid and selfish and wanted everything and everyone to myself
which is why i left you, which is why i wanted you even more when it was all over between us
which why everytime i saw your face i just wanted to grab you and make out with you like if no one was watching, like if you were mines and i was yours and no one else mattered.

I daydreamed about you and thought about us being so passionet with each other
i loved looking into your light eyes and watch them change into a picture of me and you together holding hands and being happy together, and then the picture would fade and id realize i didnt matter to you, you had a girlfriend whom you were very "in love with".. did you really love them? cause if you did, then you must know what this feeling.. or should i say that unknown feeling that ive never felt before is?..explain? or is it not explainable?

i want to fall in love with you...