Monday, December 29, 2008

are you happy now?

its been like what...4 days since ive written..
Well im so sorry ive been really busy!!!! its the holidays!!!
Lately, things been going really good, Mr. Idk what i want is done with my cousin, me and skatekid(his new name) are doing amazing, and skybar was a blast!
So lets start from the top, Mr.idk wiw...well he couldnt take her shit, hes done with alll her bull. and hes def. not ready to be a father.. cause remember she has a child..! so he left her because of that! haha, soo funny! i feel pretty bad though.. but whatevs. Hes probably going to come crawling back to me to ask for me back and i wont take his shit. im kind of over the whole thing! Now, second.. Me and Skatekid, im not sure if i ever mentioned him and said his real name but i wont.. anymore.. if i ever did! so yeah, we talk every single night, and we are getting to know each other alottt! Like the song goes: Im feeling you, but are you feeling me??" haha, its perfect.. The band the MAINE knows me soo well! :) ha, but yeah me and cousin and sister are going to panera bread this weekend, just to see him. haha. idk, they planned that! not me! hhaa. and lastly.. Skybar, it wasa blast! skaybar is a bar/ club that my dance group dances in, and its latin nights on friday nights, and we are there.. its pretty cool, our performance went soo good!!! and we are soo proud of ourselves! lol

Happy Finally!,
Charliee

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Josue "Redd" Class.

this blog, is all about josue. (mind you, hes right next to me while i write this)
he is a red head, who thinks he is soooo dope! hes in the army, and swears hes the shizznit. haha, anyways.. this isnt an insult to him or anyone, but i am going to just write about this so called person named JOSUE!



(remember my blogs never make any sense!)
Well, josue..
has to take a dump right now, he needs to send me some pictures that are on his phone, which he hasnt sent them to me. ha, idk.. this kid is a loser, i seriously dont know why i am writing this about him. its kind of taking up space! but whatever.
He is very upset because his girl friend looked at his phone, and hes being such a guy at the moment!yup!
anyways.. lets change this is up a bit..
today is christmas, and i got everythign i wanted except, STILL ALONE!!
i guess its just how life was plotted out for me.. am i right?
i dont like getting into it.. well yeah it was a white christmas and i really enjoyed spending it with family and friends, and then comes dance.. FUCKIN dance practice.. i dont understand why we had practice today ... and then our fucking studio was flooded you could swim in it it was a fuckign POOOL! ughhh! anyways im going to goo!

still lonely, confused, and reddkyd,
charlie.

Monday, December 22, 2008

my boobs have names?

ohk, so this picture, is of me, it is a photo on my myspace, and as you can see theres a tag on it with the name brett. hha, i think this is wicked funny. Brett is a boy whom, is HOT! he is funny, i guess he started tagging his name on girls photos, and apparently i was one of them. hhaa, its pretty funny how i was one, because its been a while that ive spoken to him, and then last night, i said like 10 words to him over AIM! and then i wake up to a tag from him. its cute! lol
This actually made my day!, i really enjoyed this, so if brett, if you ever read this.. you made my day today. fo real! now people think i named my boobs brett! soo funny!


happy, taged boobs, still heart broken,
charlie

Sunday, December 21, 2008

let it snow, let it snow.

another snow day?!?! maybe??!?!
i have school tomorrow, and tuesday.. i dont have to go tuesday.. so im praying that theres no school tomorrow!! *Fingers crossed* i hope!
im pretty tired at the moment its 6:49 pm, and im listening to hardcore music, such as scary kids scaring kids, the used, taking back sunday.. etc.
im in the mood for alesana right now, but yeah! lol. whatev's.
anyways, lets talk about my heart.

My heart, for the past 12 hours has been wicked lonely, idk why.. but it has. i feel so alone, and left alone. you already know im hurt, due to you know who. but who cares im fucking strong, i dont need any of that.. im bigger than alll that relationship/ whatever the fuck you want to call it drama! i think im doing the right thing, so yup! im sticking to it, but maybe later tonight.. ill be at a different perspective. just cause thats how i am.. haha. like i said in the last post, i ms. idk wiw. haha
fo sho! well i dont have much to say anymore about that but i can talk about that stupid snow storm were having, the one thats been going on for quiet a long time now, the one thats kept me inside al day, the one that is stopping me from making my presentation in school.
you know that one.

snowed in, heartless
charlie

Saturday, December 20, 2008

over the sisters.


so its about 2:20 am. ive tried sleeping for the past hour, and nothing.
so your probably like, why is she at her sisters when you know MR. idk wiw.
lives next door. Well yes i came over for stricked buisness, my brother had to make
a mix track for my dance group and thats what i was doing, and maybe just maybe
a little part of me, came for him.
ohk, maybe a huge part did, but i havent seen him since i got here, we went partying with
family members, which sucks cause i want to see him, i keep having these dreams, or should
i say day dreams about him being very aggressive towards me. which sucks. cause i dont want him to be like that with me at all.
oh and eh, hes still not home.
i dont know why im stressing over this, why should i care, he did me wrong.. why should i want
to see him at all.. haha it sucks.
Well anyways, i, starting to get annoyed that lately all my blogs been about him :(
you see how pathetic i am. but the funny thing is.. i dont want to be with him, i want to be
single, with no one, im kind of liking it like this, me all alone.. i have freedom, and i dont need someone to be on me at all times. which is pretty cool. haha. so yeah im a mess!
i want someone, but i dont.. any advice?
cause i seriously dont know what to do.. im fucking confused.





well whatever, i hate the snow, were having a snow storm that hasnt stopped, which pretty much sucks because it ruined alot. im not even excited to go play outside in the snow, because its soo bad out there, my mothers car is like flubber on the streets it slides everywhere, its pretty scaryy!!

so yeah..

love, confused & cold,
charlie

Why me?

i dont understand, i thought i was going to faint when i saw him. I say Mr. I dont know what i want today!. I didnt even say hi, idk why.. i wanted to hug him to much! i wanted to kiss him, and hug him, and i dont know what i came over me. i thought i was going to be strong.. and i pulled it off but inside i was dying. i just wanted to break loose and be with him. i dont understand how he can go from me.. to someone.. back to me, and then i dont pay attention and then he goes back to that someone. this is one thing i hate about him, the one thing that gets me mad, the one thing i kno why i act the way i do when i see him. im soo upset, i couldnt of smiled at him, cause i did. I smiled when i left.. i said bye to him but it was a far away wave and smile, i didnt even hug him.. i hope that when i see him next i will be more soft towards him. i wont be stupid and ignore him.. kind of. but it was just cause he was acting like hes been seeing me everyday, when hes been gone for a long time. but its truee.. i felt like he never left, it left like ive been with him for a long time.
i dont know why im like this, im going to strong. im going to not let him get in my way!
i should be the one with the name he shouldnt be Mr. i dont know what i want, because i should be ms. idk what i want. thats me right there.. im that i dont know what i want, well.. i do know what i want.. i want HIM! i want him to be mines, and not hers, i want him for myself.

:'/ broken,
charlie

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Fuck LA-H

LA-H= Latin American History!
i hate it, hate it, hate it. soo fuckign Much!
haha i have to write alot for it, and revise a bunch of shit. im so mad because i wont be able to actually have a christmas vacation, i will be doing a bunch of work.. and on top of that i have to write a 10 page research paper. woo hoo,how exciting..

NOT! seriously.. im soo upset, and my teacher is being a bitch to everyone, which sucks! grrrhhaa anyways.. other than that my day went awesome, i had a great day with candace.. she and i followed John Kulas and his Helper everywhere, his helper was soo HOT and we were following him. and pretty much embarrassed ourselves in front of him! hhaa. its great! well i g2g, and finish this stupid outline!


word.

charlie.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Fist Fights turn into Sex, i wonder what comes next.

Jorma Taccone

My new Hero, he is a funny guy, even though hes 31 years old, idk.. hes HOT, FUNNY, and his name is jorma.. how fucking cool is that??!?! hhaa well not him being 31 and hot. haa

Well, today was a pretty boring day, it snowed soo much here, i didnt even have to go to school because we had a 2 hour delay, and i hate going to school on days like that because no one goes. haha, i would be all alone doing nothing :( hhaa. anyways, yeah so i stayed home and did my hair, and it looks wicked cute. its in curls and i love it. i have a performance on Friday and i have to see how my hair looks before then! lol So today the devil comes you know Mr. I dont know what i want. yup. he returns and im not caring at all because im just going to competely ignore him. yup.. i probably wont see till, like friday. haha anyways, im pretty much a very happy girl right now. so i hope nothing ruins it!!!

love,ajdslggh HAPPY ME!

Charlie

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

you left me with a broken heart, and now im leaving you with these lips!

ohk so, like about 2 or 3 blogs ago.. i wrote about me being broken hearted.. and all about Mr. doesnt know what he wants, i think thats what i called him.. but you get the point. haha. Well i found the perfect song by my favorite band "The Maine" its called "You left me" and idk, its kind of perfect. Before i post the lyrics, i will explain that hes coming home soon, and its going to be so awkward being around him and all.. so idk what to do, i guess hold my head up high.. and dont give a fuck! haha. Well here are the lyrics..


The Maine - You Left Me lyrics
Oh, you left me with a broken heart
And now I see you as I should of from the start
Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss
And now I'm leaving you with these lips
These lips

Everything looked fine from here
Everything looked more than clear
But now you are gone
And I'm still here

So check it out (so check it out)
I wrote it down (I wrote it down)
In case you ever left us out
And baby you can find me
'Cause I quit right now

Oh, you left me with a broken heart
And now I see you as I should of from the start
Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss
And now I'm leaving you with these lips

Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
whoa whoa (Baby, baby)
[x2]

So now I'm pressin'
But I ain't stressin'
She's got a man
I'm with her best friend
Tried at love but it never really stuck
She said it's love but I didn't give a fuck

Oh, you left me with a broken heart
And now I see you as I should of from the start
Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss
And now I'm leaving you with these lips

Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
whoa whoa (Baby, baby)
[x2]

You left me
You left me
Baby

And now I'm better cause you left me
I just left 'cause you let me
Don't keep calling, just forget me
Don't keep calling, just forget

Oh, you left me with a broken heart
And now I see you as I should of from the start
Oh, you left me with nothing but a kiss
And now I'm leaving you with these lips

Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
Whoa whoa (You left me)
whoa whoa (Baby, baby)
[x2]

Sunday, December 14, 2008

spur the moment venting.

what is love?



i dont understand love, what is it?
because everytime i think im in love with this one person whom well call "Mr. Idk what i want" he ends up hurting me. I seriously thought i was over him, i thought i didnt need him in my life, but then i get this "message in a bottle" telling me that hes talking to a friend of mines. It sucks that everytime we end up trying to have something, we keep it to ourselves. its kind of like a closed, hiden relationship. ='[ i wish it was possible to tell the world how i feel for this "Mr. idk what i want" but its not. i wanted to tell him yes the moment he asked me to be his girlfriend, but i couldnt just cause hes a douche. He doesnt understand that im a girl with high expectations with relationships, and if he really wanted to be with me, then he would of changed, he would of gone out of his bubble and not be MR. PLAYER over here. dude, i know your never going to read this because i know you wont ever have the time, but shes a gold digger, she said it herself. she said it to me, and when i started to talk to you at first, you told me...you dont want a gold digger, you want someone whos going to like you, for you. ='[ i cant have this happen, my heart just tore into pieces, its never felt so empty and not there before. maybe if i just told you "i love you" back just to get your attention.. everytime you said it to me, but i was just to scared something like this would happen, and it did. and i guess if i ever would of told you those 3 words back to you, maybe id be happy and talking to you right now, and even more excited than i was before this happend that you would come home.. to visit your family.
i love venting. if this made no sense...who gives a fuck. i dont.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Fucking Hate this BITCH.. but i can use her for something.

Alright, soo i HATE hannah montana/ miley cyrus.. shes a slut.
but werent we all at her age.. haha jk im too funny.
anyways.. the reason for having a hannah montana picture is
because i love her dress, she useless except for when her clothes are
major cute. So this is an idea i have for prom, what do you think?
i believe that with some fixing i can pull this dress off.
i want to make some major chances to it.. but other than that its wicked cute.
so yeah i think i have my prom dress.. now i need a date..
): im dateless.
and i keep having dreams about me going to prom either, alone.. or with my sister
which either or, i dont want to happen. haha

a new start.

so i've decided to start a new blogspot again. i used to have one...but idk i think i just forgot about it, with me being so fucking busy, its understandable. lol
so i guess this is the start of something new, something that i think the world might enjoy. just reading about my life, what happens during the day, during the hour of something epic thats going on, lol.. im pretty happy because i have alot to take off my chest and writing it all in my journal is not safe. haha
as you can see i hate, i mean i seriously hate capital letters only when i really need them, i use them. lol but i only use them when i have to write a paper out, or something thats really important and professional.
im going to try and be myself on this, i dont want to sound smart, i dont want to sound mature, i just want to let it out and not care wtf you people think. so yeah!
i dont think im cool, im not smart, i dont care what you think, and i dont think im better than any of you.. so whatev.
straight up fool, this is a fresh start!
-charlie.