Why me?

i dont understand, i thought i was going to faint when i saw him. I say Mr. I dont know what i want today!. I didnt even say hi, idk why.. i wanted to hug him to much! i wanted to kiss him, and hug him, and i dont know what i came over me. i thought i was going to be strong.. and i pulled it off but inside i was dying. i just wanted to break loose and be with him. i dont understand how he can go from me.. to someone.. back to me, and then i dont pay attention and then he goes back to that someone. this is one thing i hate about him, the one thing that gets me mad, the one thing i kno why i act the way i do when i see him. im soo upset, i couldnt of smiled at him, cause i did. I smiled when i left.. i said bye to him but it was a far away wave and smile, i didnt even hug him.. i hope that when i see him next i will be more soft towards him. i wont be stupid and ignore him.. kind of. but it was just cause he was acting like hes been seeing me everyday, when hes been gone for a long time. but its truee.. i felt like he never left, it left like ive been with him for a long time.
i dont know why im like this, im going to strong. im going to not let him get in my way!
i should be the one with the name he shouldnt be Mr. i dont know what i want, because i should be ms. idk what i want. thats me right there.. im that i dont know what i want, well.. i do know what i want.. i want HIM! i want him to be mines, and not hers, i want him for myself.

:'/ broken,
charlie